One Leg of a woman tells the other: UNITED we are saved, divided we are Fucked.
Same Sex Marriage: What's the big deal in same sex marriages? I've been married to the same woman for 25 years and had the same old sex all that time.
Two prostitutes were talking,
1st: We r in the best business in the world.
1st: We have it, sell it, and we still have it.
Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you... It's only when u leave her a virgin!
Great door signs:
Gynecologist: Dr Jones at your cervix.
Septic tank truck: Yesterday's meals on wheels.
Plumber's office: We repair what ur husband fixed.
Tire shop: Invite us to ur next blowout.
Electrical shop: Let us remove ur shorts.
Maternity room: Push, Push, Push.
Similarity between a dick & matchstick?
Both have heads without brains, both flare up at slightiest friction, both fizzle out after showing valour for 2secs !!!